I confess, when the Bluetooth headset craze started going down in the Los Angeles area I was not a fan of the look. I didn’t think the Cyborg fashion trend was all that hot and it advocated thoughts of the next step forward… surgical implants. Plus, I felt like it was just another “Hey look how cool I am” sorta things but I also knew inevitably I would follow the fold. All that’s is now legislated bygones since we Californian’s are required to have a Bluetooth set or some other hands-free methods of making calls while driving. So I’ve had one for a little while and I see some room for improvement. I have two ideals here for headsets. My “normal” fantasy headset upgrades, and my James Bond version. So, first I’m listing what I’d love to see in a Bluetooth headset with little regard to feasibility… it’s just what I want. Mind you… I think all of these in the first list are “doable” but might require big time integration to a smart phone with the proper software.
- I lose little electronic devices on the regular. Headsets are no exception. I want a “locate device” feature. In my fantasy headset world, my phone could ping my headset which would trigger an alarm just like home phone bases can activate wireless phones beeps. This could save me several rummages though smelly gym bags, the crevices of sofas, and the underbelly of my vehicle’s driver’s seat.
- Full on 2001 HAL style voice activation and voice control. I’d want my headset secretary to whisper in my ear, “John Doe is calling.. should I send to voice mail? ” and I could respond… “No I’ll take it… he woes me money.” I’d suffice with it understanding “Take Call” or “Voice mail”. I’d want it to offer reading me a text message I received. I’d want it to let me compose a text or email in return. I realize the basic voice features are there… I think I want a virtual PBX secretary in my phone / headset. I’d want it to understand command like “Mute phone” or “Read my emails to me” or “Playback voice mails” or “Take a message”.
- I’d want my headset to have a duplicate SIM chip so it could make calls even if my phone were MIA. Sometimes that’s all you need. So… sort of a phone unto itself but is tightly coupled with my smart phone.
- I want my headset to be smart enough to know it’s not attached to my noggin. I shouldn’t have to look at my phone like an idiot asking “Can you hear me?.. Can you hear me now?” wondering why my caller, who just called me, whom I talking to, isn’t returning the favor… only to realize that it’s because my audio is going to my stupid headset, which is now on its base charging. That’s annoying and should be easily remedied.
- Some sort of slick anti-theft deterrent. Retinal scans maybe a bit much… maybe just a start up voice-recognition password challenge? If the password challenge is failed too often the GPS ping fires up? Heck.. my phone better do this too… maybe even the retinal scan.
- It needs flawless sound cancellation. ’nuff said. However, it would be nice if the device could auto adjust volume based on environment awareness.
- Solar? Body Heat energy recharged? Why should I need to plug it up?
Ok, I suppose those are the most tame and likely candidates for actual inclusion in a device / headset combo and I’d love to see them actually implemented. Heck, I have debated with colleagues on whether or not I should seek some VC lovin’ to start the startup that tackles it… what, with Android and iPhone App Store et. al. and the contest, funds, and venture capital good will associated with it all. Considering it.
However, as many of you know my name is actually James Bond. A blessing and a curse I’ve always said. So, with that in mind here is a more playful list of totally killer “Q” style upgrades to my Bluetooth.
- The obligatory laser. It needs to be able to cut through 3 feet of steel at least.
- Heads Up Display. For anything. Whether I find my self targeting a sub or need thermal imaging to see through walls… it’s in there.
- Touch to fire mini Tazer. For when paralysis is good enough.
- It needs to be smart enough to call my car to be there just in the nick of time. Thanks Knight Rider.
- If someone else tries to use it… brain drill. Thanks Blade.
- Doubles as a safe cracker.
- Translates any language I hear… Hey, that’s actually a good one for the list above too.
- Keeps track of enemies in the midst and updates me on their where abouts.. “Bad guy 5 o’clock approaching quickly… has knife, no worries.”
- Needs to count cards for me.
- Provides witty one-liners. (Not as necessary now… Love you hunny.)
I’m curious to hear what other upgrades you want in a Bluetooth headset.. James Bond style or not. 
